Happily Single after 30

My 30th birthday has recently passed and I had an amazing time celebrating with friends and family. But amidst the congratulations and "Happy Birthdays" I got comments like, "Girl, when are you going to get married and have some kids," or "that clock has started ticking honey, time to start popping out some babies," or my favorite "Girl you have to stop being so picky, I have the perfect guy for you..." The list goes on and on! Instead of being viewed as a choice, "SINGLE" seems to denote a lack of options. Everyone seems to want to meddle in the life of a woman who refuses to settle; setting her up on endless dates with guys she has no interest in, calling her "desperate" or "lonely" or "too picky" or asking: "Whats wrong with her?" I would like to propose that the question we should be asking is: What's right with her? 

The way I see it, the solitude and bravery and uncertain path of the modern-day single woman is something to be applauded as bold and courageous and unique; not lauded as sad or pathetic and weak. Is it too much to ask that our community and society celebrate us and our choices? To encourage us to search for ourselves instead of making the search for a mate the central goal of our lives. I can remember in college meeting women whose prime focus was not their GPA or midterms or finals, it was getting a husband. Now maybe I was brought up differently, but I was so shocked by their responses. Thank God, times are a-changing, and with it a new generation of women are being raised up to dance to the beat of their own drum...even if it is only in their underwear around their rooms grooving to Beyonce's "Single Ladies."

Don't get me wrong, I know that REAL love is a beautiful, amazing, wonderful, and sacred thing, BUT until it arrives, shouldn't I allow myself to LIVE? I like being able to spend money on myself without asking anyone's permission. I like being able to make last minute plans without checking in with someone. I like taking myself out on a weekly date to the bookstore or the movies or the shoe store and spend time in my own company. And while I would love to eventually have someone join me on my journey, I refuse to be grounded if they don't.

There is a wisdom that is possessed that comes from surviving life, a confidence that comes from knowing I am not afraid to fall, because each time I fall, life presents me with another chance to get up and move up. A happy life is more important to me than a happy ending and I don't need a significant other to lead a significant life. 

I'm single, sassy, happy and proud that I have made it this far in my life. Through all the twists and turns and hills and valleys, I still love myself and I love who I am becoming each day. I can't wait to see what the next 30 years hold for me!!