Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Happily Single after 30




My 30th birthday has recently passed and I had an amazing time celebrating with friends and family. But amidst the congratulations and "Happy Birthdays" I got comments like, "Girl, when are you going to get married and have some kids," or "that clock has started ticking honey, time to start popping out some babies," or my favorite "Girl you have to stop being so picky, I have the perfect guy for you..." The list goes on and on! Instead of being viewed as a choice, "SINGLE" seems to denote a lack of options. Everyone seems to want to meddle in the life of a woman who refuses to settle; setting her up on endless dates with guys she has no interest in, calling her "desperate" or "lonely" or "too picky" or asking: "Whats wrong with her?" I would like to propose that the question we should be asking is: What's right with her? 

The way I see it, the solitude and bravery and uncertain path of the modern-day single woman is something to be applauded as bold and courageous and unique; not lauded as sad or pathetic and weak. Is it too much to ask that our community and society celebrate us and our choices? To encourage us to search for ourselves instead of making the search for a mate the central goal of our lives. I can remember in college meeting women whose prime focus was not their GPA or midterms or finals, it was getting a husband. Now maybe I was brought up differently, but I was so shocked by their responses. Thank God, times are a-changing, and with it a new generation of women are being raised up to dance to the beat of their own drum...even if it is only in their underwear around their rooms grooving to Beyonce's "Single Ladies."

Don't get me wrong, I know that REAL love is a beautiful, amazing, wonderful, and sacred thing, BUT until it arrives, shouldn't I allow myself to LIVE? I like being able to spend money on myself without asking anyone's permission. I like being able to make last minute plans without checking in with someone. I like taking myself out on a weekly date to the bookstore or the movies or the shoe store and spend time in my own company. And while I would love to eventually have someone join me on my journey, I refuse to be grounded if they don't.

There is a wisdom that is possessed that comes from surviving life, a confidence that comes from knowing I am not afraid to fall, because each time I fall, life presents me with another chance to get up and move up. A happy life is more important to me than a happy ending and I don't need a significant other to lead a significant life. 

I'm single, sassy, happy and proud that I have made it this far in my life. Through all the twists and turns and hills and valleys, I still love myself and I love who I am becoming each day. I can't wait to see what the next 30 years hold for me!!


Sunday, July 1, 2012

The Real Thing In Stereo....

If you really know me, you know that I am a HUGE Jill Scott fan, her songs have basically been the soundtrack to my life. My highs, my lows, she has been a constant presence, encouraging me to Live My Life Like Its Golden, reminding me I'm So Blessed, encouraging me to take A Long Walk, Slowly and Surely, and that I need to be The Real Thing and Let It Be...I could go on and on. Let me not forget Womanifesto....no words for that one....google it if you don't know!!!

I'm an undercover introvert and a fake social butterfly. Most people that have encountered me have no clue who I really am. I have REAL issues trusting people, male and female the same. If I haven't known you for over 10 years, just assume that you don't know the REAL me. I am a complicated melody that you may have a hard time learning, but once you do I will become your favorite song. I have so many layers, like an onion. Don't worry I am not gonna peel each layer back in this first entry. I love to write, so I hope to stay committed to this blog...but these day me and commitment have not been exactly seeing eye to eye. But I need an outlet, one bigger than my old notebook that is jammed with poems, songs, stories....falling apart at the seams.

So this is the REAL thing in stereo, I got a little highs, I got a little lows, follow this melodic flow, I can make you shine, I can make you glow. Yea, I know another Jill line...but seriously this blog is gonna be all me, bare bones, stripped down to my birthday suit. Being this vulnerable is foreign to me, but I will try my very best!! No expectations, no regrets is the way I live my life these days....everything else is fracklenackle BS as one of my honorary big sisters reminds me on a weekly basis. Every day I am learning how to be a better me and I will try to give you a peek in on the lessons I learn.

I have to share Womanifesto with you....



I am not all the way there yet, but I am on my way and enjoying the ride. Whether I take the scenic or direct route, its gonna be a funny, wild, and exciting one, kinda like me! U ready?? Hold on!!