The words are simple enough, but the meaning is very regularly lost.
Maybe not lost, but dismissed. Tossed aside. Neglected. I think we are all familiar with these words, but if you are anything like me, you see them for a brief moment before snatching them off their shiny, fluffy clouds, crumpling them and shoving them under a rock while looking around to see if anyone is watching.
I am not patient enough. I am not smart enough. I am not strong enough.
The enough trap. This trap is an ugly, painful cycle that can easily ensnare us. In a world that keeps telling us there is always more, nicer, bigger, better, it can be hard to feel like we are enough. We are constantly comparing and never satisfied.
I like to play ignorant of the fact that I am enough because accepting that fact is HARD. It is easier to internalize the criticisms, compare out, and constantly try to jump to a ledge that is always just a little out of reach. How does that make sense? I'll just pretend I didn't know about it and then no one can challenge the fact that I haven't been accepting it.
There are days when I get it and days when I don't. Writing about things is a wonderful way for me to process them. A way for me to think out loud. That being said, when I write posts like these they are often when I am in the middle or just on the cusp of internalizing an important message or principle. I'd rather write about them now than when I have it all "figured out" because I think writing in the middle is more authentic. Granted, I may seem more scattered, but aren't we all?
No matter how hard we try, how much we work, or how much we have, we can become victim to a vicious cycle of striving an never feeling like enough. I have my days that no matter how much I have tried and how much I have done, I still feel inadequate and defeated.
When we are so hard on ourselves and think we cannot measure up to what we think God expects of us, it can be hard to accept the fact that He loves us just the way we are.
SO, coupled with the information I know to be inherently true and the fact that we are often far more compassionate with others than we are with ourselves, I have a few things to share with you...I venture that if there actually were a handbook issued at birth, t might go like this:
1. You are a miracle. Never forgot this fact. Just the science alone is mind blowing.
2. You are unique. No one will ever be as good at being you as you are. Seriously.
3. You are enough. Always. Never doubt this. There is nothing to add, but feel free to expand.
4. There is always, always, more to learn, but that is not failure it is a gift. It can be fun too.
5. Every obstacle is an opportunity to fall further into the miracle that is you.
6. Commit to being the best version of your ever day. Re-calibrate definition of "best" as needed.
7. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive every which way. Forgive him. Forgive her. Most of all forgive you
8. Compassion is the key to forgiveness. Compassion means you feel the humanity in others.
9. The more you forgive, the more you'll enjoy being you, because the lighter your load will be.
10. In the end, as in the beginning: YOU. ARE. Amazing.
I have a spent a lot of time trying to be what I thought others and the world wanted me to be. It has been one of the most tiring existences. I'm not sure where I got my concept of what the world wanted me to be, because when I actually realized what that was, it had nothing to do with what my brain told me.
The more that I speak from the heart and take the time to nurture the things that make me unique, the more receptive I find the world to be. Being myself requires far less work and because of that I am able to invest more time in developing who I am. Finding a voice. Changing the world...or at least my little corner of the world.
Won't you join me?
