I have a dirty little secret...you ready? I have a faith issue, I bet you're surprised right? Yea I know, not Anthea the Pastor's daughter, the church girl, the praise team leader, the advice giver, etc. But its true, my faith issues are pretty bad. I'm not sure when it started or where it came from all I know is that when things are out of my control and I have to let go and have faith that it will "all work out for my good," *cue the church organ music* I'm a hot mess of anxiety and doubt.
Over the past few years, as I’ve settled into my thirties, life seems to have opened the flood gates to a number of lessons and realities. With each of these hardships or challenges I’ve overcome, I’ve taken with me a lesson of new wisdom, deeper compassion, self-awareness, humility, and empathy for others.
On that same note, I have also noticed that with each experience, I seem to begin treading more carefully in my approach to future situations, treating them with caution; unconsciously trying to protect myself or others from perceived disappointment or hurt.
In reflecting on this past year, I've witnessed that the only true 100 percent guarantees we can expect are that our surroundings, feelings, emotions, comfort zones, people, and material possessions will always endure change.
Recently I was reminded that faith is like a muscle - if it is not used, it will atrophy.
I spend time every week exercising certain muscles that I want to develop. When I haven’t worked out for a week I can definitely feel the difference. Similarly, if a week goes by without exercising faith, you will notice the difference. The longer you go without using faith, the greater the danger that you will forget how to use faith altogether.
If you are as accident as prone as I am and have ever broken a major appendage and were unable to use it for a time, you know that you need to work hard to rebuild it once it has been weakened by prolonged inactivity. The physiotherapist will work with you to rebuild what has been lost through lack of use. So, faith is like a muscle and needs to be exercised.
Recently, I was listing the reasons why I didn't believe something would happen for me and the person I was talking to asked me, “Where is your faith?” I couldn't respond. Their next statement to me was, "then its not being exercised."
I'm steadily being reminded that what is meant for me won't pass me by. Now it may not look like how I envisioned it or how I want it, but I am trying hard to believe that it will be the best thing for me and right on time.
I'm in faith rehab and I am determined to continue to exercise my faith until I can answer the question "Where is your faith?" and be satisfied with my answer.
“If you believe it will work out, you’ll see opportunities. If you believe it won’t, you will see obstacles.” ~Wayne Dyer
